PB JONES:
Now you may know Ellis Island and lady liberty
Gimme your tired, poor masses, HAH, a load of crap they’re giving me
Europeans had a 60 second physical, you kidding me???
Angel Island is the guardian of the western gate

LEE: we don’t do that on this coast.

PB JONES:
I’m PB Jones, the angel of angel island
Don’t you dare apply now for your fake and vain asylum
I’m PB Jones, I’ll acquaint you with my lair but first
Please step off from the ferry for a welcome to America *cowbell*

Yes guards, don’t be afraid to be too rough
Our purpose is to make sure they never set foot on the mainland.

FAT PORK:
First thing first was a grueling physical
They herded all the men, scared us to bits
Only the chinese got this kinda treatment
They made us strip down and examined our--
ALL: shhhhh

PB: Fun fact! x4
CHIN: they combed through our poop looking for special parasites
FAT PORK: hookworm is common among human beings and easily treatable
CHIN: they assigned us all prisoner numbers
FP: I was 7-24. The non-Chinese were free to go.
CHIN: Then came the weird-ass tour

PB:
I’ll give you men a tour before we place you in detention
Some things inside these harrowed halls are too depraved to mention
State of the art interrogation rooms, we’re never lazy here
LEE: We don’t take your lai see here
CHIN & FAT PORK: I heard Chinese go crazy here

PB: Now, over here is a painting of...

CHIN: What happened to Kee Lin? This place is giving me the creeps…
GUARD *drags KEE LIN in, who's dressed in Kai Chung's old things*:
Stay in the men’s barracks, you lecherous chinaman!
FAT PORK: What are you doing here, Kee Lin, thought you were with the women, is that your brother’s suit?? And a goatee?
KEE LIN: yeah, I put it on so they’d put me back with you dweebs. Ta-da

PB JONES:
Only little walk more
You’ll see your prison numbers and the date
On this big imposing Chalkboard
This chalkboard will seal your fate:

PB (others ECHO):
Board of special inquiry (that means interrogation),
Deportation (deportation)
….Or San Francisco (what)

Now onward, men. To detention!

CHIN: Wait, that’s fat pork’s number on the chalkboard; he's about to be interrogated
KEE LIN: let’s hide so we can hear the questions they ask him
FAT PORK: aite see you later!